Islamic Sufism Spirituality

The Bride’s Boon

Posted on: January 3, 2009


The marital life is an interesting and necessary institution. If one fails to understand the core of the conjugal relation between man and woman he will lead a life of oblivion and disorientation.

I hope that the prospective spouse study the technique of marriage before getting into it. Unless we teach our prospective spouses the correct way of their new marital life, they may resort to erotic books or stories that mislead them. There are many misconceptions about marriage and man-woman relationship.

Therefore, I decided to write this beneficial treatise and authenticated treatment clearly explaining the way to a happy marital life. I pointed out certain issues important to everyone who marries, and with which many wives in particular have been tested. I ask Allah Most High to bring about some benefit from this treatise, and to accept this work solely for His glorious countenance. Surely, He is the Righteous, the Merciful.

It should be known that there are many etiquette in the area of marriage. All that I am concerned with here in this quickly compiled work is the Qur’anic verses and that which is authenticated of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad, that which is irreproachable from the standpoint of its chain of narration and upon which no doubt can be cast in terms of its constructions and meanings. In this way, whoever reads and follows this information will be on a clearly established basis in religion, and will have full confidence in tl1e source and validity of his actions. I hope for him that Allah will put the final seal of felicity on his life, in reward for beginning his married life with the following of the Sunnah, and to make for him among His slaves.

I openly discussed sexual relation between husband and wife. No wonder, Islam is a realistic religion. Sex is a natural and creative urge. Hence, Islam lays down great importance on marriage and the constitution of a new family. When talking about sex, the Glorious Qur’an is very euphemistic though clear. Particularly, the Qur’an uses euphemism and figurative speech when dealing with matters pertaining to sex and man-woman relationship.

The Qur’an deals with the human life and all what it contains. It permeates into the personal relationship between husband and wife to organize it. It further provides the remedy to one’s passion and passionate love.

When recounting the story of Yusuf (pbuh), the Qur’an highlights the conflict between the blazing sexual urge and the suppression of that urge by adhering to Allah’s Guidance. Allah Almighty says: {But she in whose house he was, sought to seduce him and she fastened the doors, and said: ‘Now come,” He said: “Allah forbid! Truly (thy husband) is my lord! he made my sojourn agreeable! Truly to no good come those who do wrong and (with passion) did she desire him, and he would have desired her, but that he saw the evidence of his Lord: thus (Did you order) that We might turn away from him indecent deeds: For he was one of Our servants chosen.}} [Yusuf: 23-24]

The evidence which Yusuf saw was the evidence of faith. In the Prophetic Hadith we have also another story which emphasizes that faith is the safety belt that protects man against whatever he might face of worldly appeals.

Allah’s Messenger said, “While three persons were traveling, they were overtaken by rain and they took shelter in a cave in a mountain. A big rock fell from the mountain over the mouth of the cave and blocked it. They said to each other. ‘Think of such good (righteous) deeds which, you did for Allah’s sake only, and invoke Allah by giving reference to those deeds so that Allah may relieve you from your difficulty.

One of them said, ‘O Allah! I had my parents who were very old and I had small children for whose sake I used to work as a shepherd. When I returned to them at night and, milked (the sheep), I used to start giving the milk to my parents first before giving to my children. And one day I went far away in search of a grazing place (for my sheep), and didn’t return home till late at night and found that my parents had slept. I milked (my livestock) as usual and brought the milk vessel and stood at their heads, and I disliked to wake them up from their sleep, and I also disliked to give the milk to my children before my parents though my children were crying (from hunger) at my feet. So this state of theirs and mine continued till the day dawned. (O Allah!) If you considered that I had done that only for seeking Your pleasure, then please let there be an opening through which we can see the sky.’ So Allah made for them an opening through which they could see the sky.

Then the second person said, ‘O Allah! I had a she-cousin whom I loved as much as a passionate man loves a woman. I tried to seduce her but she refused till I paid her one hundred Dinars. So I worked hard till I collected one hundred Dinars and went to her with that But when I sat in between her legs (to have sexual intercourse with her), she said, ‘O Allah’s slave! Be afraid of Allah! Do not deflower me except legally (by marriage contract). So I left her O Allah! If you considered that I had done that only for seeking Your pleasure then please let the rock move a little to have a (wider) opening.’ So Allah shifted that rock to make the opening wider for them.

And the last (third) person said ‘O Allah! I employed a laborer for wages equal to a Faraq (a certain measure: of rice, and when he had finished his ,job he demanded his wages, but when I presented his due to him, he gave it up and refused to take it. Then I kept on sowing that rice for him (several times) till managed to buy with the price of the yield, some cows and their shepherd Later on the laborer came to me and said. ‘(O Allah’s slave!) Be afraid O Allah, and do not be unjust to me an give me my due.’ I said (to him). ‘Go and take those cows and their shepherd. So he took them and went away. (So, O Allah!) If You considered that I had done that for seeking Your pleasure, then please remove the remaining part of the rock.’ And so Allah released them (from their difficulty).”

This book consists of a scientific and realistic discussion of man woman relationship. Spouses should know each other spiritually, physically and sexually. They must not feel shy when discussing such matters that to sex. They should feel that they are one entity. Platonic love is not enough to unify the spouse hearts. Sexual satisfaction may be the fruit of their physical and spiritual unity. Therefore, they must be creative and cooperative.

Man-woman relationship is not only innate but also acquired. It needs much study to be understood. It needs developing and renovating so that the partners might not feel bored or monotonous.

Mahmud Mahdi Al-Istanbulli

Download Book as PDF

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I would like to make clear all the visitors of my blog that I am not Rqaqi, Aamil, or Spiritual Healer. Any Raaqi you contact via my blog, know they do not represent this blog or me.

 

In my knowledge these are few dedicated places where you can get your spiritual healing according to Quran and Sunnah. I can recommend these places as in my knowledge they works according to Quran and Sunnah; but I cannot be made responsible either individually or severally for any untoward incidents.

 

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